Dear Public At Large:

Dear Public At Large:

The following is a small sampling of jokes that I believe deserve to die. They are not only overused, but unfunny to boot. Please refrain from using these. And if you feel like you can't be the funny person at the office without using one of these jokes, please make sure not to use any of them around me. Some are specific to me and thus should be uttered never. Not once. Ever.

- MasterCard Priceless Parodies
- Asking if I have candy in the back of my van
- When I ask you if it's Wednesday, saying "All day"
- Any references to Michael Jackson
- Impressions of any of the following: Jack Nicholson, Arnold, George Bush, Bill Clinton, Christopher Walken, Bill Cosby
- Most puns. I won't say all, but most is appropriate.
- Anything ending in "git r done."
- People I have just met trying to make jokes about my arms like I haven't thought of each and every one of them 25 years ago.
- Mentions of Viagra and your 4 hour boner.

This list will be expanded as necessary. Don't make it necessary.

Annoyed,
Ryan