Dear Winter Jacket:

Dear Winter Jacket:

We have both established, through much hard work and dedication, that I can properly zip you up. Finally being able to bring that zipper all the way to the top to block out the cold bitter winds of the winter air was something I considered one of my finer moments of the calendar year. You were a worthy opponent, and had me on the ropes several times, but let's face it: you lost. I bested you. There were times I didn't think I would ultimately be victorious in this fight. You made my fingers bleed, you left me battered and bruised. But I won. I truly won.

So I have to ask you this, Winter Jacket: knowing that I was declared the champion, why do you insist on only making it impossible for me to zip you up when people are watching? When it's just you and me, you allow me full zipper access to ensure warmth when I venture outdoors. However, if there are people in sight, you don't allow me to zip you up, making sure that everyone around sees me struggle in all my handicap glory.

I'm on to you, Winter Jacket. I may have won the battle, but the war wages on. You will get yours.

With the heart of a warrior,
Ryan