Monday, March 21, 2011

Dear Guy Who Yelled From His Moving Car How Much He Loved My Afro:

Dear Guy Who Yelled From His Moving Car How Much He Loved My Afro:

Hey, man, thanks! Glad you like it. Though I think you were mistaking me for somebody else. My name is actually Ryan, not Faggot. But thanks anyway! Still means a lot to me.

Flattered,
Ryan

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Dear Brunch:

Dear Brunch:

Thank you for letting me eat pancakes and spaghetti at the same time.

Overweight,
Ryan

Friday, March 11, 2011

Dear Snack Food Princess:

Dear Snack Food Princess:

I don't know where you went or what is happening, but there is a bag of Doritos with your name on it waiting for you when you get back.

Smile,
Ryan

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Dear Chair I Am Currently Sitting On:

Dear Chain I Am Currently Sitting On:

I am incredibly jealous of you, because you get to grab my ass. You lucky devil.

Lustfully,
Ryan

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Dear Ryan:

Dear Ryan:

Just wanted to let you know you kick ass, and no one is more handsome than you.'

Arrogantly,
Ryan

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dear Guy At The Parking Garage at University of Delaware Who Was a Dick To Me:

Dear Guy At The Parking Garage at University of Delaware Who Was a Dick To Me:

I made three months of your paycheck in one night's work. Weird that I don't care you were rude.

Smugly,
Ryan